Thumbkin ran away again;
the Law knows what he's done.
(That Baa Black Sheep is Mother Goose's
illegitimate son.)

Rich Mother Hubbard steals from the cupboard
of the woman who lives in a shoe.
Little Bo Peep has lost more than her sheep;
There's nothing that girl won't do.

 Simple Simon kisses the pieman
and cares not what people say.
Little Miss Muffet purges her stomach
after binging on curds and whey.

Little Jack Horner, who sat in the corner,
now sits upon Death Row.
Mary Mary Quite Contrary,
where did your daddy go?

Peter Piper picked peppers 'til
with work he got annoyed.
Now he lays around the house Jack built:
paid but unemployed.

Jack Sprat beat his wife with a bat
when his Pease Porridge was too cold.
(Jack and Jill are married still,
but love has gotten old.)

The Queen of Hearts does think
that raising children is a crock,
So "Bye, Bye" Baby Bunting
thanks to the Hickory Dickory Doc.

 Georgy Porgy, whiskey and wine,
to drink his fill does push
and monkeys chase weazles when Little Boy Blue
gets high at the Mulberry Bush.

 Humpty Dumpty's haughty spirit
led him to his fall,
while Wee Willy Winkie jumped
off London Bridge to end it all.